My Elvis Blackout (ebook)

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Author: Simon Crump
Publisher: Galley Beggar
Format: Ebook
Published: 26 December 2012
Price: £4
Quote: "Keep your fucking canoe," said Elvis. "I want to eat men."


“This is one of the most abnormal books of all time, and also one of the best... No home is complete without this magnificent book." Dan Rhodes

Join the King of Rock and Roll as he wreaks crazy havoc with the Memphis Mafia, murders huge numbers of groupies, destroys televisions, sabotages Led Zeppelin gigs with great big bags of pigs' blood and somehow also breaks your heart. The best book you have never read - but really must.

You can buy it as a .mobi file for your Kindle, or as .PDF and .Epub for everything else.

Praise for my Elvis Blackout

"Like an episode of South Park, where just as you get into the story something goes splat, Crump’s contorted imagination is alarmingly enjoyable." The Guardian

"If I was born with a name like Simon Crump, I would spend the rest of my life trying to get all that anger and resentment out of me by being very rude about other people. It doesn’t bother me in the slightest. Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words can never hurt me. Or something like that. No, I wouldn’t even give this a passing thought. When you are a famous person, you are there; you are up for grabs for people to have a go at. I know there are comedians who make fun of me. But, you know, I look at my beautiful family, I look at the house I live in and I look at my fans all over the world, and I look at my career and I think, well it’s all based on jealousy and envy and really I don’t give a toss." Chris De Burgh

About the book

This ebook edition comes with a brand new introduction by Jon McGregor and a postscript by the author. It also contains the complete text of one of the best books written in the past twenty years. First published in 2000, but shamefully overlooked ever since, My Elvis Blackout is a work of genius. Of particularly twisted and unsettling genius, but genius all the same. A book so strange, sick and strange again that you’ll often wonder what on earth you’re reading. But as you wonder, you’ll also marvel.

In these 37 short stories, the King of Rock and Roll - "hero and model to teenagers the world over" - joins a choir in order to torture and murder Christians, labours under the delusion that he's a major rock-star (when really he's just an inmate in an asylum who's afraid of potatoes), and kills both Barbara Cartland and Chris De Burgh. And then he does some bad things too.

Needless to say, it's very funny - but My Elvis Blackout is more than just a laugh riot. This acerbic take on the cult of Elvis' personality tells plenty of uncomfortable truths about our relationship with celebrity, while Simon Crump writes with astonishing force and power about mortality, human cruelty and the horrors that man inflicts upon his fellow man. It’s daft. But it’s also profound.

And don’t think that this is disrespectful to the King, either. Elvis remains a strangely sympathetic (albeit psychotic) character throughout. It’s one of the best tributes to his unique genius you can hope to read. Just don’t buy it if you’re a Chris De Burgh fan…

How to buy

You can download this ebook directly to your computer from us. Just hit "Add to Cart". (The button is down at the bottom of this post and at the top right.)

Your shopping cart will appear in the top right of the screen. Hit the "checkout" button. You'll be taken to a paypal page which will take your lovely money. You'll then be taken to some download links. Hit them!

After that, it's all easy - but just in case, a few more instructions on transferring the files to your ereader:

  • If you have a kindle, click this link to see Amazon's explanation, complete with video. (Basically, you just plug your kindle into your computer, find it on your desktop and drag the files across.)
  • If you have a kobo, here are some handy instructions. (Again, basically, you just plug your kindle into your computer, find it on your desktop and drag the files across.)
  • If you have a Nook, here are the official instructions. (Again, basically, you just plug your kindle into your computer, find it on your desktop and drag the files across.)
  • If you have an iPad, iphone or similar, drag the thing onto your device and open in iBooks or equivalent.

If you have anything else you're probably super-tech savvy so just get to it!

And if you've read this far, well done. Thank you! We love you. We hope you buy and enjoy the book.

Oh! And don't forget Rory Hill's fantastic free book club notes. Just hit this link to get to the PDF.

Price: £4.00

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